Hello. Hallo. Hola. 今日は. Bonjour. Aloha.
bestestsqueepie:

doctortorchwoodpottergames5:

petition to make this the new loading symbol

IT’S SO FUCKING MESMERIZING

bestestsqueepie:

doctortorchwoodpottergames5:

petition to make this the new loading symbol

IT’S SO FUCKING MESMERIZING

callmeoutis:

i was ready to just scroll past like “haha grammar humor” but then it was weird al and i,

inceration:

I FOLLOW BACK 1OO%

inceration:

I FOLLOW BACK 1OO%

laughingsquid:

A Miniature Drum Kit Set Up Inside an Empty Can of Orangina

cupsnake:

You know what the Green Heron is basically the best heron because it is like 90% neck so when it is all folded down it looks like a giant head with wings and legs

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but then suddenly ZOOP

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fucking green herrons

distraction:

Dexter was so fucking hardcore

I was told the average girl begins to plan her wedding at the age of 7. She picks the colors and the cake first.

By the age of 10 she knows time, and location.

By 17 she’s already chosen a gown, 2 bridesmaids and a maid of honor.

By 23 she’s waiting for a man who wont break out in hives when he hears the word “commitment”, someone who doesn’t smell like a Band-Aid drenched in lonely, someone who isn’t a temporary solution to the empty side of the bed, someone who’ll hold her hand like it’s the only one they’ve ever seen.

To be honest, I don’t know what kind of tux I’ll be wearing, I have no clue what my wedding will look like.

But I imagine the women who pins my last to hers will butterfly down the aisle like a 5 foot promise.

I imagine her smile will be so large that you’ll see it on google maps, and know exactly where our wedding is being held.

The woman that I plan to marry will have champagne in her walk, and I will get drunk on her footsteps.

When the pastor asks if I take this woman to be my wife, I will say yes before he finishes the sentence. I’ll apologize later for being impolite but I will also explain him that our first kiss happened 6 years ago and I’ve been practicing my “Yes” for past 2, 165 days.

When people ask me about my wedding I never really know what to say, but when they ask me about my future wife I always tell them her eyes are the only Christmas lights that deserve to be seen all year long. I say she thinks too much, misses her father, loves to laugh, and she’s terrible at lying because her face never figured out how to do it correctly.

I tell them if my alarm clock sounded like her voice, my snooze button would collect dust. I tell them if she came in a bottle I would drink her until my vision is blurry and my friends take away my keys. If she was a book, I would memorize her table of contents. I would read her cover-to-cover, hoping to find typos, just so we can both have a few things to work on.

Because aren’t we all unfinished? Don’t we all need a little editing Aren’t we all waiting to be proofread by someone? Aren’t we all praying they will tell us that we make sense? She don’t always make sense, but her imperfections are the things I love about her the most.

I don’t know when I will be married. I don’t know where I will be married but I do know this, whenever I’m asked about my future wife— I always say: …She’s a lot like you.
Rudy Francisco (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

fairytrainer:

fairytrainer:

btw in case yous have slept on this - there is an amazing tv show that exists on this earth called I Wanna Marry Harry where they’ve tricked a group of american girls into thinking they’re on a dating show competing for the heart of Prince Harry and it’s fucking phenomenal 

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